Hold On
by Leijona
Summary: What will Ellie do when a friend desperately needs her help? Set after Circle of Flight (the Ellie Chronicles).
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer**: I do not own the Tomorrow Series, The Ellie Chronicles or any of the characters. The genius John Marsden does._

_**AN**: The main reason for writing this is the simple fact that I ship Ellie and Homer. This story takes place after Circle of Flight and contains spoilers for both series._

_**Summary**: What will Ellie do when a friend desperately needs her help?_

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Just by saying someone's name you can tell a whole story.

I don't mean the way your parents say your name when they're angry, or the way your friends say your name when they have something exciting to share, or even the way Ms Dunn says your name when she wants you to pay attention in Math class. _They_ aren't really trying to tell you anything. They are just trying to get you to listen to whatever it is they have to say next.

I mean like the way I said Robyn's name when we were trying to escape Stratton Prison.

That day is a day I will carry with me for the rest of my life. After the Kiwis had destroyed most of the prison with their bomb raids just moments earlier, we saw our chance to escape. Somehow we found each other in the rubble, and, even though we were all severely injured, we made it to the driveway. Only to find Major Harvey blocking the exit, pointing a gun at us. When I saw him there I started to lose hope. We had gotten this far and now some traitor, who didn't even deserve to still be alive, was going to stop us? I was sure we were going to die at his hands. I remember letting out a sob, because it all seemed so unfair.

While I was falling apart, Robyn, brave, brave Robyn, had already formed a plan. And at first I didn't understand why she was walking towards Major Harvey, but then I saw her hand slip underneath her t-shirt and pull the pin out of the grenade she was hiding there. And then I knew. Robyn had decided that she would give her life to save all of ours. And in that moment, I wanted to let her know that I knew, and that I would be forever grateful for what she was about to do and that she wouldn't be forgotten. I wanted to tell her all of that and more but didn't have the words or the time, so I called out her name. And I saw her turn her head towards me and she gave me a small smile and I knew that she knew.

That's what I meant.

-0-0-0-

I had just come home when the telephone rang. Home now meant the tiny apartment Lee and I, his four brothers and sisters, and Gavin shared in Stratton. After Mr Young bought our property and Lee and I decided to give our relationship a real try, Gavin and I packed our bags and moved to the city, into the already crowded apartment. There were only two bedrooms, which, after the move in, Lee and I divided into a room for the three boys and a room for the two girls. Lee and I slept on the daybed in the living room. The living conditions were far from ideal, but we decided that as long as things weren't completely getting out of hand, we would live here and try to save money for something better, although it was still very difficult to find something affordable after the war.

We had a great couple of weeks when Gavin and I first moved in. I guess everyone was on their best behaviour, Lee and I most of all. Those first few weeks were like a breath of fresh air. Life almost felt normal again. Almost. Because no teenager is supposed to share an apartment with her boyfriend, his four siblings and a kid she had taken in after the war.

But then we all sort of slipped back into our old behaviour; Lee would disappear for hours at a time, Gavin went back to throwing horrible tantrums, Paul and Philip fought more than ever, Pang started yelling; at me, for laying down some ground rules, at Lee for not sticking up for her when I grounded her after she kicked Intira, and at her brothers for fighting all the time. The only one who seemed ok with things was little Intira, who was happy as long as Pang was happy.

I might as well be honest; I was no better than Gavin and threw quite a few tantrums myself. Most of them involved a lot of screaming and yelling and blaming Lee for numerous things. Some of them scared the two little kids pretty badly. Last month, after one of my infamous fits, Intira was so scared of me she wouldn't look at me for an entire week.

There were quite a few times when we all had enough of each other. Ok, there were a lot of times when we all had enough. In a way it was easier for the kids, because whenever they had a bad day, or were in a bad mood, they could go into their room sulk for a little while. Or a long while. Usually the other kids were sensible enough to leave the other alone. Lee and I didn't have that luxury. I usually went outside to let off some steam but never stayed out long, because I felt guilty leaving the kids alone. But Lee would often be gone for hours on end without letting me know where he was. It frustrated me, but I knew there was nothing I could do about it; he had always been that way. But to me it was just one of the many things that started to irritate me as the months went by.

I never talked to Lee about it, but for me it was all or nothing this time. We had been on and off for so many times already that I'd lost track. I was still very attracted to Lee, and still loved him, but I had decided that if we couldn't work things out this time, well, then that would be it. There's only so much you can do to try to make it work.

Looking back now I think he felt the same way.

By the time I received the phone call Lee hadn't come home a couple of nights in a row and I had had enough. We were supposed to be in a relationship, but I felt more like a nanny, only there to look after the kids, than his girlfriend. Even the kids noticed he was gone most nights and started to ask me questions I couldn't answer. I tried to talk to Lee about it, but he brushed me off and didn't seem too interested in how I was feeling. I realised that things weren't working out between Lee and me. Like I said, those first few weeks were great, but we had been going downhill ever since.

It was a Thursday afternoon; the kids had just come home from school. Gavin was on the couch, watching a rerun of South Park, Pang was at the kitchen table, doing her homework and helping Intira draw a horse and Philip and Paul were in their bedroom, building Lego I think. It was a good day in the sense that no one was fighting. I was in the kitchen, unpacking the groceries I picked up earlier when the phone rang. Without having to ask her, Pang got up and answered it. I could hear her say her name, but then she went silent. I turned around to see if everything was ok, but she looked at me with a confused look on her face. She held out the phone, "I think someone's crying, Ellie."

I was sure it was Fi. There was no way it could have been any of the boys. Lee was at school and I was rather certain he wouldn't call me up crying because he had gotten a bad grade or got bullied. Kevin was still in New Zealand and although he could get quite emotional at times, there were other people he would call when he was in a desperate situation; I still wasn't his most favourite person. And well, Homer never even crossed my mind, I mean, come on, it's Homer. So, as far as I was concerned, it could only be Fi.

I took the phone from Pang and sat down on the stool next to it, preparing myself for one of Fi's endless rants about boys, or homework, or life in general. I took a deep breath, as to prepare myself for what was to come and asked, "Are you ok, Fi?"

It wasn't Fi. Not that whoever was on the other end of the phone was saying anything, but it definitely wasn't Fi. I would have known.

Not sure what to do, I kept quiet. There was no use in saying something when I didn't know whom I was talking to. I could hear someone breathing on the other end and I knew that they were building up the courage and strength to say something. I don't know how I knew that. I think it had something to do with the war. During that time one of the most important things I learned, besides trusting my instincts, was how to read people. I got really good at it too. There were times when all I needed was one look at Lee to tell what he was thinking and what his next move would be, or one change of breath from Fi, to make me to stop doing what I was doing because she heard someone or something coming our way. And this time, by the way the other person was breathing; deep breaths, mixed with those post-crying sobs you sometimes have, I could tell that whatever it was they would say, it was something important.

And when I finally heard something on the other end, it was just one word:

"Ellie."

But it told me everything I needed to know.

-0-0-0-

I dropped the note in Gavin's lap as I walked back to the kitchen and watched as he read what I had written down:

_Pack your bag, be quiet, they don't need to know._

He looked at me, worried, but he knew he would have to trust me. And he did. He always trusted me.

When we first met his troop of feral kids in Stratton in the middle of the war, I couldn't care less about him. But as the war went on and he and three other kids joined our little group, my opinion about him changed rather a lot. And when he realised I wasn't just another grown up telling him what to do and that I always acted in his best interest, he came around as well. Even though he did not always agree with the things I decided, he learned to trust me.

And over time we formed a bond so strong that I now consider him to be my brother.

So when I shook my head to let him know that now wasn't the time to ask questions, he got up and walked to his room. I could hear him tell Philip and Paul that they could watch TV and seconds later they hopped on the couch. TV time was hard to come by in our house; a lot of the fighting revolved around what show the kids wanted to watch and they never seemed to agree. Gavin usually chose the channel and then sat on the remote, forcing the others to watch whatever he felt like watching. He was the strongest of the five and no one had ever tried to take the remote from him. It was a pretty clever tactic when you think of it.

It was also pretty clever of him to tell the other two boys they could have the TV; it had gotten them out of their bedroom and would probably keep them out of there until they had to go to bed, or until Pang would fight them for the remote and win. Whichever came first.

With Gavin packing, the other two boys watching TV and Pang and Intira at the kitchen table, I sneaked into the hall, where Lee and I kept our things in cardboard boxes. It wasn't the most sophisticated way of storing them, I admit, but with the limited space we had, it was our only option. I grabbed my duffel bag and started packing. There wasn't much to pack; just my clothes and my personal belongings, one of them a photo album with pictures of my parents and friends, that I took a couple of weeks after the war and a couple of weeks before my parents were brutally killed by enemy soldiers.

It wasn't exactly a party, but everyone had come together on our farm one afternoon, Homer and his parents, Fi and her mum, Lee and his brothers and sisters, and Kevin and his parents. It was a rainy autumn day, so we were crammed up in our kitchen, but we had a good time nonetheless. It was nice to have everyone together again. I took tons of pictures that afternoon, to the point where Homer told me to get that camera out of his face or he'd take it from me and do awful things to it, but afterwards I was glad I did. Not long after that Kevin moved to New Zealand, Fi moved to away to boarding school and Lee moved to Stratton. Only Homer, Gavin and I stayed behind in Wirrawee.

After I finished packing, I sat down behind the computer to look up bus schedules. The computer was old. We had gotten it at a thrift store a couple of months earlier, because Lee needed it for school, but he was so frustrated with how slow the thing was that he hardly ever used it. While I was waiting for the page to load I thought about how I was going to tell Lee we were leaving. It wouldn't be easy, but for some reason I didn't think he would put up too much of a fight.

Besides Lee there were other people that would also want an explanation from me; Gavin's teachers, _my_ teachers, but most of all Mrs Oates and Mr Green from the Department of Social Responsibility. But they would have to wait until tomorrow. Or the day after.

I wrote down the departure times of the bus on my hand and hoped we could catch the last bus tonight, so we would be in Wirrawee just after nine. As I turned the computer off and looked around the living room my eye fell on the box of paperwork Gavin and I had gathered over the months. There were so many papers I had given up organizing all of it and just dumped it in a cardboard box instead. While I retrieved the box from the top of the fridge, I could hear the front door being opened and closed. I took a deep breath, sure that he had seen my packed bag in the hall, and prepared myself for the talk that was about to follow.

"Ellie?" Lee asked, walking into the kitchen. "What's going on?"

I tried to look as confident as possible, hoping I could avoid a big discussion. "Gavin and I are going home."

"What do you mean you're going home?" Lee asked slowly. "Your home is here, Ellie."

I shook my head. "We're going back to Wirrawee."

"Why?"

"Because we have to."

"Ellie," Lee sighed. I could tell he already was growing tired of this conversation. "Could you please, for once, just tell me what you mean instead of giving me vague answers? Why are you leaving?"

"Homer called."

"And?"

"And nothing," I looked at him. "We're going home."

Lee shook his head. "I think you owe me an explanation."

"I really can't give you any more than that," I said. It was true.

I still didn't know what it was that made Homer call me, but I knew it was something bad, and maybe even something that shouldn't be discussed over the phone. It was a very short conversation; he said my name and I told him that we would be on our way. Whether or not I should take Gavin with me wasn't even a question.

"Does this mean we are done?" Lee's voice interrupted my thoughts.

I looked at him and shrugged. "We have been done for a long time, Lee."

"So you're not coming back?" He asked and I knew he agreed with my previous statement.

I shook my head. "No."

It was only then that I noticed the room had gone completely silent and when I looked around I found three sets of eyes trained on Lee and me. Pang looked very angry, while Paul and Philip just looked confused. Intira was still colouring, too busy and too young to understand what was going on. I opened my mouth to explain them what happened, but figured they'd probably heard it anyway. Instead I turned to Lee, "I'm sorry."

I hope he understood what I was trying to say. That I wasn't just sorry about jumping the gun on him, but also that I was sorry that this was how things ended between us.

He just shook his head.

If there ever was such a thing as perfect timing, it was that Gavin chose that moment to come out of his room, his backpack slung across one shoulder. He looked at me expectantly and I gave him a quick nod. Without saying goodbye, Gavin made his way to the hall. I couldn't blame him. He was fine having me as his family now, but he had always made it pretty clear that he didn't care too much for Lee or the other kids.

I took a deep breath while trying to decide what to do; should I say goodbye to everyone or do what Gavin did and walk away without looking back? I figured the kids wouldn't want to say goodbye anyway, given how upset they all were at this moment, so I took one step towards Lee and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. I could feel him stiffen under my touch and pulled away. "I really am sorry, Lee." I said before picked up my bag and followed Gavin, not looking back.

That was three weeks ago.

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_**AN**: Please let me know what you think! Part of the next chapter is already sitting on my laptop, but if you have any suggestions or things you would like to see in the story, don't hesitate to let me know! Thank you :)_


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN**: First of all thank you to those who reviewed, favourited, and/or followed this story. It's good to know there are other Ellie/Homer fans out there :) Second, a big thank you to **Lexie** for helping me with the first Ellie/Homer flashback scene. I wanted a happy memory (from before the war) and she suggested Ellie and Homer walking back home from a party, drunk. And third, I'm very aware that these chapters are pretty short. Over the years I have gotten better at writing longer chapters, but it's still a struggle. Bear with me on this... Thanks again for reading, I hope you enjoy the next bit :)_

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Gavin and I were the only two passengers on the bus from Stratton to Wirrawee that night. The bus driver, Jimmy, tried to make small talk but when Gavin kept quiet and I only gave short answers the conversation was short-lived.

Gavin was sitting on one of the seats opposite to mine, on the other side of the aisle. After we were out of Stratton he closed his eyes and slept all the way to Wirrawee. I often wondered how it was possible for him to fall asleep so easily. It didn't seem to matter what time it was, or where he was, the minute he closed his eyes he was vast asleep. Sleep still eluded me, and even on the good nights, the ones without nightmares about my parents, Corrie, Robyn, or Chris, I only slept a couple of hours at best.

While Gavin was sleeping, I spent my time looking out of the window, trying to recognise landmarks that would tell me we were nearing Wirrawee. But it was dark, and so many of the landscape had changed during and after the war that it was difficult to tell where exactly we were. I thought about the many landmarks we had destroyed, most important and impressive of all Cobblers' Bay. My stomach turned at the memories that were starting to surface and I tried to think of something else.

Cobblers' Bay was one of the very few demons I still wasn't ready to face.

So I thought of other things, memories from before the war that didn't have death and destruction written all over them. My mind wandered to Kevin's 'End of Winter' party a couple of years back and a smile crept onto my face.

Kevin's parents and younger brothers had been out of town visiting some relatives in Stratton and had trusted him enough to watch the house. Being the responsible teenager that he was, Kevin decided he wanted to have a party. And as far as he was concerned the end of the winter was a pretty decent reason to get drunk. He invited most kids in his year and some in ours as well. And even though Corrie and Kevin weren't together yet, she already had her eye on him and begged me to come. I still thought Kevin was a dipstick at that point so I wasn't really keen on going, but then my big crush Steve casually mentioned that he'd 'definitely go because it was going to be the best party ever' and I was in.

How Homer got his brother to drive us into town I might never know, but George kindly dropped us off at Corrie's that night. From there we made our way to the best party Wirrawee had ever seen. If we had to believe Kevin, anyway. The thing was; Homer wasn't even invited, because, quite simply, Kevin couldn't stand Homer. It may have had something to do with Homer's 'fuck authority' attitude that made him one of the most popular kids in school, something Kevin had been until Homer came along.

We got to Kevin's at around nine and to be honest, the party was absolute crap. There were maybe fifteen people, Corrie, Kevin, Homer, and myself included. Kevin was already off his face by the time we arrived and if it hadn't been such a pathetic attempt at a party, it would have been funny to see him yabber on about how great this night was going to be, but now it was just sad. Corrie made it her own personal mission to get him sober enough so that he would notice her, but failed miserably.

My night turned out to be just as terrible because Steve had decided to take stupid Debbie Hader as his date, even though this was _so _not that kind of party. I could see them snogging across the room and felt myself getting sick. With Corrie busy trying to keep Kevin away from all the grog and Steve busy exploring Debbie's tonsils I decided to find Homer, knowing he probably was having an equally bad time. And boy, was I right. I found him outside on the porch, cradling a six-pack of beer in his arms like it was his firstborn child. I sat down next to him and he generously offered me a beer, which literally was like he was giving up his firstborn child. If there's one thing Homer never ever shares, it's his beers. It's like asking the Queen of England to give up Australia; it just doesn't happen.

While I struggled to finish the bottle, Homer kept on drinking and an hour and five beers later he was absolutely spiffed. By that time I had decided I had had enough of the party and told Homer we were going home. That he was coming with me was a given; we had the unspoken rule that wherever we went together, we left together, especially if we had to walk home. While I got up, Homer threw his empty beer bottles in a corner somewhere and yelled, "This party is a fucking scandal, Holmes!" as a sort of last hooray before we left.

If you were sober the walk from Kevin to Homer's took about an hour. We weren't sober. I only had one beer but my legs felt like they were made out of lead and Homer was swaying all over the place, all while calling Kevin and his party all sorts of names. He had already fallen down a couple of times when we reached the Young's place and from there it was at least another thirty minutes. When he stumbled over his own feet for the fifth time I gave up and sat down on the road beside him rather than help him up like I had done the previous times. Homer rolled over on his back and stared at the sky. All of a sudden his eyes got big and he turned his head toward me.

"Ellie, old mate," he said, his speech still slurred from the alcohol. "I just want you to know that I reckon Steve is an absolute dick for bringing Debbie to that party, especially since he knows you like him. I also want you to know that I will happily knock his front teeth out if you were to ask me to. You know what? You don't even have to ask me, I don't want you to get involved. Just blink once if you agree."

I decided to ignore the comment about Steve knowing that I liked him, not wanting to add fuel to that particular fire and instead thanked Homer for looking out for me.

"Of course, Ellie," Homer said in a matter-of-fact kind of way. "I love you. I'd do anything for you. You know that."

Oh god, he was even more off his face than I thought.

The voice of the bus driver interrupted my thoughts, "Where do you want to get off, love? We're almost in Wirrawee."

Not looking forward to the long walk from Wirrawee to the Yanos' place, I asked if he would drop us off there.

Jimmy nodded, "Sure, love. It's the end of my shift anyway."

I thanked him and got out of my seat to wake Gavin. I gave him a gentle shove and he immediately sat up. It was one of the many things that fascinated me about him; no matter how deep in sleep he was, it took only the slightest disturbance to wake him up. It seemed like even when he was asleep he was still on high alert. "We're almost there," I said.

We pulled up in front of the gate to the Yanos' property a couple of minutes later, just after nine o'clock. I grabbed my duffel bag and slung it over my shoulder before I took hold of the cardboard box. Gavin followed me and as we walked out of the bus I gave the bus driver a small nod as a thank you. Gavin and I stood on the side of the road and watched as the bus made a wide turn and drove back to Wirrawee.

I turned toward Gavin and tapped on his shoulder to let him know I was going to move. It was almost completely dark outside, so it would be nearly impossible for him to lip-read, and I didn't feel like raising my voice when a simple touch of his shoulder would tell him everything he needed to know. I opened the gate and let Gavin pass in front of me before I closed it again. He grabbed a hold of my duffel bag and followed me as we made our way down the driveway. I knew this place almost as well as our own farm, or what used to be our farm anyway; I could walk up to the house blindfolded if I had to, but to Gavin it was still unfamiliar territory.

I remembered when Homer invented a game he simply called 'drive straight or die'. We were young and bored and during one particularly uneventful and hot afternoon Homer suggested we would take the old ute and drive it up and down their driveway to get some 'fresh air' as he called it. We should have just gone out to the watering hole for a swim, but that meant having to walk there so we dismissed that idea pretty quick. After driving up and down a couple of times Homer got even more bored and decided to make it a bit more exciting and dared me to drive to the gate blindfolded. I accepted his dare and managed to make it to the end without veering off the road once. I was only driving about 10k an hour, but still. Quite the accomplishment.

Homer had to one up me of course and drove back to the house blindfolded, going a whopping 15k an hour. In return I couldn't let him overshadow me so I drove back to the gate at 20k an hour. To make a long story short, the game ended with Homer crashing the ute into an old fence at 60k an hour. We came out unharmed but the ute suffered some minor scratches, nothing Homer couldn't pass off to George's reckless driving. Luckily his parents were on the other side of the property when all of this happened or we both would have never seen the light of day again. Needless to say that game was short-lived.

I wondered if his parents would be waiting for me in the house, I somehow longed to see Mrs Yanos again, to have her tell me that everything would be all right. A heavy feeling dropped on my chest as we left the gate behind us and I felt myself getting anxious. I took deep breaths, trying to calm myself and behind me I could hear Gavin do the same. I knew this was just as nerve wrecking for him as it was for me.

While we were waiting for the bus in Stratton he had asked me why we were going away. I told him that we were moving back to Wirrawee because Homer had called. He seemed content with that explanation and didn't ask any other questions. I don't know if he knew that I didn't have any answers, or if he simply trusted me so wholeheartedly that he didn't doubted my decision. Either way it made me realise once more what a special bond this little bugger and I had formed.

The driveway was about one kilometre long and we would have been at the house in a matter of minutes, but after 200 metres I couldn't take it anymore. I shrugged the bag off my shoulder and shoved the box into Gavin's chest, mumbling "Sorry," and took off at a run. It was as if some invisible energy was pulling me toward the house, even though I still wasn't sure what I would find there.

I almost flew through the kitchen door but came to a dead stop at the sight in front of me. It was one of the most awful sights I have ever seen, before, during, or after the war. Homer was sitting on one of the kitchen chairs, his hands folded in his lap, staring into nowhere. His face was drained from all colour and his eyes were lifeless. My heart broke at the sight of him and without thinking I took three quick steps forward and threw my arms around him. A small shiver ran through his body and I could feel him let out a sob. Other than that there was no reaction.

It was more than a couple of minutes later when I heard Gavin come inside and the silly thought that I must have run faster that I imagined entered my mind. I reluctantly let go of Homer, because I would have held onto him forever if I had to, but not before I told him that we were here to stay.

I turned toward Gavin, who was standing right behind me, and took the cardboard box and my bag out of his hands. "I'm sorry I left you there, Gavin."

He shrugged, "'S okay." I could tell he was upset. Gavin had always looked up to Homer, often following his example, good or bad, and I guess that seeing Homer in this state made Gavin realise that even the best could be beaten at times.

I looked around the kitchen for the first time and was surprised to find it in a perfect state; there were no dirty dishes in the sink, no dust on the floor, nothing to indicate something was wrong. It was very unsettling. I half expected to walk into a state of chaos with leftover food everywhere and mice crawling all over the place. Somehow this was even worse.

Gavin sat down on the chair opposite to Homer and looked down. I tapped his shoulder and he looked up at me, "Stay here," I told him. He nodded. I walked to the living room before I went to the dining room, expecting to find something out of the ordinary there, but they were the same as the kitchen; both very clean. I quietly made my way upstairs, my conscious telling me it was no use to call out for Mrs Yanos or even George. A quick search of the bedrooms told me what I already knew; the house was empty.

As I walked back to the kitchen I tried my hardest not to break down. I still didn't know what had happened, but whatever it was, it was bad.

Homer and Gavin were both where I left them and Gavin was looking at me with a questioning look on his face. I shook my head and shrugged. He bit his lip and I knew he was trying not to cry. Gavin was a tough little bugger, but I'd noticed that when it came to Homer or me he could get very emotional.

I stood behind Homer, my hand resting on the back of his chair, and looked at Gavin, "Are you hungry?" He shook his head. We had bought a couple of sandwiches and two apples at the bus station in Stratton and had eaten them while waiting for the bus. "Why don't you sleep on the sofa tonight?" I suggested, knowing he was still tired. Gavin nodded and grabbed his bag off the floor. He understood I needed some time alone with Homer. I followed Gavin and took a blanket and a pillow from the big linen closet that was standing in the hallway between the kitchen and the living room. Gavin sat down on the sofa as I put the pillow and blanket next to him. I ruffled his hair, "Good night, kid."

"Ellie," Gavin said in his unique voice, slurred and pitchy. "Do you think Homer will be alright?"

I shook my head, "I don't know, Gavin. I really don't know." He nodded, knowing this was the best I could do right now. I suddenly felt an immense love for that boy. With my parents gone, the way I left things with Lee, Fi at boarding school, and Kevin living in New Zealand, Gavin and Homer were the only family I had left.

I gave him a smile and walked back to the kitchen where nothing had changed. I grabbed the chair Gavin had been sitting on earlier, and sat down next to Homer. Not sure what to say I took one of his big, strong hands in mine and kept it in my lap.

We sat like that for a long time.

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_Reviews are very much appreciated!_


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